"Discern the Call"

For Sunday, January 10th, 2009

Lectionary Reading - Luke 3:15-17, 21-22 (NRSV)

"As the people were filled with expectation, and all were questioning in their hearts concerning John, whether he might be the Messiah, John answered all of them by saying, "I baptize you with water; but one who is more powerful than I is coming; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.

Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, "You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased."

This week's post - "Discern the Call"

There’s no indication in the above scripture that Jesus knew or expected that God would be so demonstrative the day John baptized him. Think for a moment how overwhelming the whole event might be. Think of how it would alter your life forever. The experience of baptism can be profound enough by itself, but then to be praying afterwards and have a cloud filled sky part and open up with sun rays bathing down directly upon you. Something about that would leave many of us sensing a deep and loving affirmation from God for what we just did. But it doesn’t stop there, moments later a dove flies to you coming to rest upon your head or shoulder. Now your attention has peaked beyond any other moment of your life. You’ve already sense a certain mission or calling from God for your life, but then a voice is heard by all – whether audibly or simply within your heart and the hearts of others, and it shares an affirming undeniable message, “You are my Child. You are Beloved, with you I am well pleased.” Other gospel accounts add that God spoke to the crowd as well, saying, “Hear him.”

At the youthful age of thirty, it was quite an experience to have. The impact was so profound that Jesus spent the next 40 days wandering and fasting in the wilderness trying to discern what the experience from God meant for his life. From what the scriptures tell us, Jesus completed that discernment during his wilderness wanderings and then he did one other thing. He cast out any remaining demons in himself that Evil might try to exploit, such as wealth and power and invincibility. Whatever storms and struggles Jesus experienced to that point trying to understand what God wanted from him were now over. Those vexing concerns left him the moment he emerged from the wilderness. He would not struggle again for understanding until the moments in Gethsemane before his crucifixion. He would struggle again during his dying hours nailed upon a cross as he slowly suffocated to death. Yet even at the end, he commended his spirit to the divine one whom he called, “Father.”

What’s important regarding the above is that you too are a child of God and if you feel confused or feel that you’re struggling to understand God’s will for your life, you can find that and bring clarity to it. And not only will you find it, but God will affirm it to you in ways that undeniable. What it requires however is that you create space and time and place through which you can listen to God’s voice even as Jesus did. Few of us can probably arrange for a wilderness wandering like the one Jesus had, however most of us can carve out the sacred space and time that’s necessary for such discernment.

My own story regarding this need took place between the age of 18 and 19. It was the middle of my freshman year at university. Like many young adults of that age I was struggling. I knew that time and money were precious and not in huge abundance. I needed to find a sense of direction for my life and my studies and I needed to find it fast. More importantly – and not unlike Jesus -- I had felt a sense of calling from God since childhood. I had felt it powerfully and phenomenally. So I needed to find some clarity -- and for me -- it was the only thing that was going to lead to a full and meaningful life.

I therefore began a daily ritual of fasting from lunch and using the time for scripture study, prayer, and meditation. I did this for several months yet no heavens opened, no dove came to rest upon my shoulder or head, and certainly no voice spoke to me. Eventually I decided to give up. The evening I did so, it was right before bed. I was laying in my bed praying and said to God, “I have been as open to you as I know how to be. I can’t spend any more time with this task. It frustrates me too deeply. I’m letting God, just wanted you to know.”

With those final words in mind and sleep drifting in upon me, I suddenly felt a wave of energy rushing through me as though pins and needles were everywhere. As quickly as the energy had come it withdrew. Then it rushed in again. This time it felt like static electricity dancing all over my body. Then it withdrew. It rushed in once more, this time so strong that I literally convulsed. Yet this time I recognized the source of that energy and turning on my side, I simply said, “Lord, I’m ready for whatever you want me to see.” And then I fell into deep sleep.

In a dream that followed which I can only describe as vision, I subsequently found myself standing beside a missionary in the back of what appeared to be a small church somewhere in Latin America. The missionary was reading scripture to the congregation. Yet as he spoke I heard no words. Moments later, the book of scripture appeared before me as though I was seeing it through the missionary’s eyes. Looking down the left facing page to about two-thirds down the page, I noticed an area of scripture underlined in red. The area was blurred, unreadable. I tried to focus my vision but to no avail. With my frustration mounting tremendously, I suddenly woke to the alarm clock buzzing on my nightstand.

For weeks I pondered that dream off and on. I knew the minister in the dream as we were attending the university together. His name was Ben and he was working on a doctorate in Spanish. He grew up near my father and they bore such striking resemblance to each other that people often mistook them for brothers though there was no relation.

Eventually I phoned Ben and said shared with him that I had experienced something and asked if we could get together. Ben didn’t hesitate in making time for me and we agreed to meet a few days later. When I arrived at Ben’s home for our meeting, I relayed to him the events in my dream and then said, “I don’t know if any of this makes sense to you, but I spoke to my parents and they suggested sharing the dream with you; that perhaps it might mean something to you that could help me sort this thing out.” Ben replied, “Well a thought does occur to me. When you saw the scripture in front of you, was it your book or mine?” I replied that I thought it was his.

Ben then left the room and returned a few moments with his scriptures. He leafed through the pages until he found the passage he’d been looking for and then read it out loud. As he finished reading, he stood and walked over to me placing the book into my hands. Taking the book from him, my attention drew immediately to a passage of scripture on the left facing page in the same area of the page as had been in my dream. Now however, the print was clear and sharp into focus and underlined in red, allowing for me to read the scripture for myself that had been in my dream. The scripture talked about prosecuting the missionary work as far and wide as I may. It further advocated that all persons are called to God’s work according to the gifts God has given them with the intent being that all of us labor together for the accomplishment of the God’s Peaceable Kingdom here on Earth. My heart leapt within me much like I imagine Jesus felt at the experience that followed his baptism. “Finally,” I thought, “after all this time, the call is clear.”

Much like the wilderness wandering of Jesus, aspects of the experience and calling preoccupied me for some time after. The summer following that experience, I had another dream and in it I found myself sitting in a meadow but I noted that all of the life and nature about me felt and appeared very different. A summer breeze as perfect as any you might have experience enveloped me. I looked to the sky and found it to be the most perfect blue I had ever seen. Sitting in the grass and looking at the trees, their greenery astounded me given how vibrant and alive it looked. In that moment, I realized that I no longer needed my glasses to see; even as the Earth and Nature had been healed, so had my vision been healed. Finally it dawned upon me that everything was at peace and full of the knowledge and life of God. I knew that the time of God’s Peaceable Kingdom had been finally established upon the Earth. I have only ever found a couple of scriptures to describe such a time, my favorite comes from the Hebrew Scriptures in Isaiah which reads, “The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them. The cow and the bear shall graze, their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. The nursing child shall play over the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put its hand on the adder's den. They will not hurt or destroy on all my holy mountain; for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.”

The combination of the experiences above have led me to understand that my call in life is to do whatever I can from wherever I am in whatever circumstances I find myself to help build this world and my community toward the kind of peace and the kind of justice that God will one day chose to embrace and embrace completely so our world can be healed and made whole from the greed and self-serving avarice we wreak upon it and one another.

Count me a friend and fellow sojourner if you feel the same. If you’re uncertain what you’re calling may be in relation to the above things, consider the approach Jesus used to find out what God wanted from him or consider mine or someone else’s whose life and faith journey have impressed or spoken to you. Whatever you do, don’t settle for not knowing and please know that it’s never too late to begin your discernment. Be aware too that the path will not be easy, heartbreak and heartache will be a part of it. Jesus’ life was a witness to that. It’s been true for me and countless others. But you are called – you are called to help establish “God’s Day of Peace for All.” You are called to that task according to the gifts of God unto you. And no one, I repeat, no one has the right to limit the expression of those gifts nor the happiness or fulfillment you experience along the way. And if by chance, you are someone who does limit others or tries to oppress or force them into certain moulds then consider me your worst nightmare. If your path ever crosses mine and I see your narcissism, selfishness, self-serving nature/avarice -- or whatever sociopathy possesses you -- limiting the life and happiness and genuine expression of God given gifts in others, then know this, I will call you out. I will call you out like Jesus did in his own time and I will label you and your cowardice for the evil you represent. Get to healing that stuff my friend, take it into the wilderness for a 40 day fast/exorcism with God, or to a really good therapist. If you can’t do that, then get out of the way because God’s Peaceable Kingdom is coming through and it’s full steam ahead!